Sticky Suncream, Buzzing Flies and Broken Internal Thermostats: Why Summer Can Feel So Hard With ADHD or Autism
For many people, summer is the highlight of the year. Long evenings. Beach trips. Barbecues. Holidays. Ice creams. Sunshine. Social media fills up with photos of people looking relaxed, carefree and glowing in the sunshine.
And yet, if you’re neurodivergent, summer can sometimes feel less like a season and more like an endurance event.
If you’re reading this while sitting in front of a fan, wearing the lightest clothes you own and wondering whether it’s socially acceptable to hibernate until October, then you’re in good company.
The Beach Fantasy vs The Beach Reality
I’m lucky enough to live less than ten minutes from a beautiful beach. When I first moved here from the Midlands, I’d head down there on a sunny day, telling myself this time I would enjoy it. I’d imagine myself relaxing with a book, breathing in the sea air and soaking up the sunshine.
But within 5 minutes:
- The suncream felt sticky.
- There were (sweaty) people everywhere.
- Children were shouting (not unreasonably!).
- People were somehow walking incredibly slowly and then suddenly stopping directly in front of me.
- Flip-flops were flip-flopping loudly in every direction.
- The grim smell of doughnuts drifted across the beach.
- Flies appeared. Wasps appeared.
- The sun felt like it was burning directly through my eyeballs.
- I was sweaty, uncomfortable and increasingly irritated.
Meanwhile, all around me were people who appeared genuinely relaxed, casually reading their books and sipping iced coffees.
And there I was wondering: “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I enjoy this like everyone else seems to?”Â
Summer Can Be a Sensory Obstacle Course
Many autistic and ADHD adults experience differences in sensory processing.
Put simply, our brains don’t always filter information in the same way. Instead of sights, sounds, smells and sensations fading quietly into the background, they can all end up competing for attention at once and at the same volume or intensity.
Even on an ordinary day, you might be sitting in a café and gradually notice yourself becoming more and more overwhelmed. The conversations on neighbouring tables. Chairs scraping across the floor. The smell of coffee mixing with hot food. Someone brushing past your chair. The texture of the seat against your arms. None of these things may be a problem on their own, but together they can leave you feeling frazzled before you’ve even realised what’s happening.
Many of us also experience differences in interoception – our awareness of what’s happening inside our bodies. That can make it harder to notice things like thirst, hunger, fatigue, overheating or overwhelm until they’ve become too difficult to ignore.
And then, the summer arrives
Suddenly you may be dealing with bright sunlight, sweat, suncream, strong smells, increased noise, crowded spaces, clingy clothing, social demands, hot nights, an overheated partner, overheated kids and disrupted routines. And it all gets too much.
It’s not that you’re being dramatic, difficult or “too sensitive”. Your nervous system is simply working harder to process both what’s happening around you and what’s happening inside you.
It’s a bit like having a hundred browser tabs open in your brain all day long. Eventually, something starts slowing down – or snaps.
My desk fan and I become inseparable every summer. Sometimes it’s the little things that help our nervous systems keep going when they’re already working overtime.
The Broken Internal Thermostat
Ever feel like your internal thermostat missed the factory settings? You’re not alone. You might notice that:
- Overheating creeps up on you until you’re suddenly exhausted and irritable.
- Cooling down takes far longer than you’d expect.
- Thirst doesn’t register until you’re already dehydrated.
- Your energy disappears far more quickly than everyone else’s seems to.
If you take ADHD medication, there can be an extra layer to all of this. Stimulant medication can sometimes affect temperature regulation and make it easier to miss early signs that you’re thirsty, hungry or overheating.
So when everyone else seems mildly warm while you’re internally recreating the surface of the sun, you’re probably not imagining it.
Summer Changes All The Rules
You might not realise quite how much your routines keep you grounded until summer quietly wrecks them:
- School holidays begin.
- Sports clubs pause.
- Tourist areas become busier, and suddenly you’re even later than usual for everything.
- Friends fancy spontaneous barbecues, beach days or last-minute day trips.
- It suddenly feels like everyone wants to spend every sunny evening socialising.
- The extra hours of daylight can wreak havoc on whatever bedtime routine you’ve finally managed to cobble together.
Even positive changes can feel exhausting when your brain thrives on predictability. Sometimes the overwhelm isn’t coming from one thing. It’s coming from dozens of small changes piling up at the same time.
It turns out the heat isn’t always the thing making us uncomfortable. Sometimes it simply makes it much harder to ignore everything else.
The Part We Don't Talk About: Loneliness
While sensory challenges often get the bulk of the attention, another conversation I often have is about loneliness and disconnection.
Much like Christmas, summer can have a way of shining a spotlight on whatever feels missing.
- You’re sitting on a beach surrounded by families.
- You wander through parks full of friendship groups.
- You scroll social media, and everyone appears to be on holiday, at festivals or enjoying garden parties.
- You’re with friends or family, but masking means you still don’t feel seen.
You may find yourself wondering why everyone else seems to have found their people. Questions like, “Why can’t I just be normal?” or “What’s wrong with me?” can become much louder than usual.
Often, the hardest part isn’t the heat or the sensory overload at all. It’s the feeling of being disconnected from the people around you.
Not because you’ve failed.
Not because you’re doing life wrong.
Not because everyone else has life figured out.
But, because being surrounded by images of connection naturally shines a light on our own longing for it.
Maybe You're Not Bad At Summer
Something I’ve noticed, both personally and in the therapy room, is that many of us spend years assuming we’re bad at summer, when really we’ve just spent years trying to enjoy somebody else’s version of it.
Because often, when people think of summer, they imagine:
- Crowded beaches
- Festivals
- Beer gardens
- Barbecues
- Big social gatherings
- Sunbathing or outdoor activities
But what if your perfect summer looks different?
What if you love:
- Early morning coastal walks before everyone else arrives
- Swimming
- Reading in the shade
- Watching sunsets with one other person
- Visiting quieter places.
- Eating the same safe foods – even if they aren’t considered to be “typical summer foods”
- Inviting a friend over instead of battling the crowds
- Spending an afternoon absorbed in your special interest
When you’ve spent so long masking and trying to fit in, it can be easy to lose touch with what you genuinely enjoy.
Perhaps the question isn’t:
“How do I enjoy summer?”
It’s:
“What does my version of summer look like?”
Learning To Trust Your Needs
I’ve come to realise that recognising our needs is only half the battle. Trusting and valuing ourselves enough to act on them is often much harder. It’s something I’ve seen in the therapy room and struggled with myself too. The running commentary in our heads can sound something like this:
- “I should just get on with it.”
- “I’m probably overreacting.”
- “I don’t want to be a burden.”
- “Everyone else seems to be coping.”
Perhaps you’ve spent years overriding what your body and nervous system have been trying to tell you.
You push through. Stay longer. Say yes when you mean no. Without realising quite how much energy it’s costing you.
Therapy can help you recognise your needs, understand them and, perhaps most importantly, learn to communicate them without shame.
Because needing a quieter environment doesn’t make you difficult.
Needing recovery time doesn’t make you lazy.
And preferring a cool room to a packed beer garden doesn’t mean you’re doing summer wrong.
When Perimenopause Joins The Party
Women often find that it’s not just the sunshine that’s turned up the temperature. Perimenopause can bring:
- Hot flushes
- Night sweats
- Poor sleep
- Brain fog
- Increased sensitivity to heat
- Hormonal fluctuations
Throw in school holidays, changing routines, caring responsibilities and the particular joy that is boob sweat, and summer can start to feel less like a season and more like a personal challenge designed specifically for you.
It’s hardly surprising that many women reach the end of summer feeling completely depleted.
If you’re reading this thinking, “So it’s not just me?” then no… it really isn’t.
If you’re juggling neurodivergence, perimenopause and summer all at once, you’re carrying a lot. This might not be the season to expect perfection from yourself. If you can, be a little more ruthless with your priorities. Let someone know you’re finding the heat harder than usual, ask for help wherever possible, build in short cooling or rest breaks, and remember that good enough really is good enough. The people who care about you are far more likely to remember spending a couple of relaxed hours with you than whether there were four extra salads on the barbecue table!
Perhaps Summer Isn't The Problem
Sometimes summer doesn’t create our struggles. It reveals them.
- The sensory overwhelm may highlight needs you’ve been ignoring.
- The loneliness may point towards a deeper longing for connection.
- The exhaustion may show you just how hard you’ve been pushing.
- The frustration may uncover old beliefs that you’re too sensitive, too difficult or somehow not doing life properly.
How would it feel if, this year, you stopped asking, “How do I do summer properly?” and instead started asking:
What do I actually want?
What helps me feel comfortable?
What drains me?
What am I saying yes to out of obligation?
If nobody else had an opinion, what would my ideal summer day look like?
Because maybe you’re not bad at summer. Maybe nobody ever taught you that your version of summer was allowed to look different.
For years I thought I was bad at summer. It turns out I was just trying to do someone else’s version of it.
The Summer I Stopped Fighting Summer
As I write this, I’ve just glanced at the weather forecast and seen an endless row of sunshine icons and temperatures nudging 30 degrees.
My first reaction wasn’t excitement. It was dread. Then I remembered something. At the end of last summer, I was shocked that for the first time in my adult life, I hadn’t completely hated summer. In fact, I’d even enjoyed parts of it.
For someone who has spent years convinced they get seasonal affective disorder in reverse, this felt like a pretty big deal.
So I’ve been wondering what changed. The weather certainly didn’t. Devon was still full of tourists. The beaches were still crowded. The flies were still conducting whatever important business flies insist on conducting around my head.
But my approach was different. I stopped trying to win at summer.
Instead of automatically assuming I needed to follow a typical summer checklist, I started checking in with myself instead.
When invitations came in, I stopped asking:
“Should I go?”
And started asking:
“Do I actually want to go?”
A crowded barbecue. Small talk. Direct sunshine. My nervous system sending rivers of sweat down my face.
That was an easy no.
A quiet walk by a shaded river followed by a coffee with a friend?
That sounded lovely.
Sometimes I wanted the connection but not the format.
Sometimes I wanted the experience, just not the environment.
Sometimes I wanted neither.
So, I mentally handed most of Devon over to the tourists for six weeks. Instead of battling the traffic, crowds and packed beaches, I stuck to a handful of quieter places that felt manageable.
Perhaps most importantly, I stopped trying to “make the most of every moment of sunshine.” I know – that’s practically illegal in Britain! But forcing myself to enjoy things that didn’t work for me wasn’t making me happy. It was making me miserable – and probably everyone around me!
The more I removed the pressure, expectations and self-judgement, the easier summer became. Not because I suddenly transformed into someone who loves crowds, heat and suncream.
But because I did my best to stop treating my preferences as a problem.
It turns out I don’t hate summer. I’d simply spent years trying to enjoy everyone else’s version of it.
And perhaps that’s true for more people than we realise.
When It's About More Than Summer
Whilst parts of this article have been light-hearted, the themes underneath it are often anything but.
Summer can shine a spotlight on things we’d rather not think about: loneliness, feeling different, struggling to fit in, questioning whether our needs are “too much”, or realising we’ve spent years living according to other people’s expectations.
Maybe you’re quietly carrying similar questions, feeling more alone this summer, or are unsure how to say what you need. You might even be wondering whether therapy could help.
Therapy can’t make sweaty clothes feel any better or stop flies from buzzing around your head (I wish it could!). Still, it can help you better understand yourself, honour your needs, build self-compassion and create a life that fits you, rather than spending your energy trying to squeeze yourself into one that doesn’t.
If any of this has resonated and you’re curious about how therapy could help, I share more about my approach on my neurodivergent-affirming therapy page.
Some common questions about ADHD, autism and summer
Why does summer feel overwhelming when I'm autistic or ADHD?
You’re not imagining things; there is so much about summer which can cause us to feel like it’s not just our body that’s melting – so is our brain.
It’s not just the obvious things like heat, crowds or bright sunshine. Your brain may be working hard to process hundreds of small pieces of information throughout the day whilst also finding it harder to notice what’s happening inside your own body.
For example, you might not get the message that you’re getting thirsty, tired or overheated until your nervous system is already struggling.
At the same time, you may be taking in background sounds, smells, movement and activity that other people barely notice.
And for many of us, there can be another layer still: trying to appear calm, sociable and happy whilst all of this is going on. Perhaps making conversation at a barbecue, keeping up with family demands, or making sure everyone else is enjoying themselves.
By the end of the day, it’s often not one thing that’s caused the overwhelm. It’s the accumulation of dozens of small things, all competing for our attention at once.
Why do I feel exhausted in summer when everyone else seems happy?
Summer can ask a lot more of us than we realise.
Physically, we’re often coping with heat, poor sleep, dehydration and a nervous system that’s working harder than usual.
Sensory-wise, there’s brighter sunlight, stronger smells, busier places, more noise and a constant stream of information for our brains to process.
Emotionally and socially, there can be pressure to make the most of the weather, say yes to invitations, juggle work and childcare, keep up with everyone else and sometimes even pretend we’re enjoying ourselves more than we really are.
It’s no wonder so many neurodivergent people reach the end of the day feeling completely drained.
And whilst social media can make it look as though everyone else is effortlessly living their best summer life, remember that we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes experience with other people’s highlights. If you’re working hard to appear fine, there’s a good chance you’re not the only one.
Sometimes the answer isn’t that you need to push through. Sometimes it’s that your body and nervous system need the break that they have been asking for.
Why do I feel even more lonely in summer?
Loneliness can look different from person to person. Some people have close friends, partners or family around them but still feel lonely because they don’t feel fully known, understood or able to be themselves.
Others really don’t have the people around them that they long for, and summer’s emphasis on holidays, barbecues and time spent together can make that absence feel particularly painful.
Loneliness isn’t always about being physically alone.
Sometimes it’s about not feeling known.
Not feeling understood.
Not feeling like there’s a place where you can fully be yourself.
If summer seems to bring those feelings closer to the surface, it doesn’t mean you’re weak, needy or failing at life. It may simply be shining a light on a very human need for meaningful connection.
How can I make summer more manageable if I'm autistic or have ADHD?
 Rather than asking, “How do I make myself enjoy summer?”, try asking, “What would make summer easier for me?”
Maybe you’d rather meet one friend by a quiet river than squeeze onto a crowded beach. Maybe your perfect summer afternoon involves a fan, an iced coffee and absolutely no sticky suncream.
The more we understand our own nervous systems, the easier it becomes to stop fighting them. Sometimes a small change in timing, location or expectations can make the difference between feeling overwhelmed and actually enjoying yourself.
You don’t have to spend every sunny weekend at a barbecue or “make the most” of every heatwave.
You are allowed to have your own version of summer.
And if that version involves a cool room, a fan pointed directly at your face and admiring the blue sky through the window, I’d say you’re doing summer just fine.
Can therapy help if I'm struggling with summer?
Absolutely. Although I can’t promise to stop flies buzzing around your head or persuade the British weather to stay below 25°C!
What therapy can do is help you understand what’s happening underneath the struggle.
For some people it’s about sensory overwhelm or burnout. For others it’s loneliness, masking, people-pleasing, self-criticism or feeling like they have to keep pushing through when their nervous system is asking for something different.
Together, we can explore what your mind and body are trying to tell you, understand your needs without judgement and build the confidence to communicate those needs to the people around you. That might mean setting boundaries, saying “no” without feeling guilty, asking for accommodations, or finding ways to navigate the rejection sensitivity that can make advocating for yourself feel so difficult.
The goal isn’t to become someone who suddenly loves crowds, heat or small talk over a burnt burger. It’s to help you create a life that works with your brain rather than constantly asking your brain to work against itself.
And if nothing else, my therapy room has managed to stay surprisingly cool throughout the heatwaves so far… which, as far as I’m concerned, is an added bonus!
If you’d like to explore some of these questions together, you’re very welcome to book
a free consultation.
Further Information
If you’d like to learn more about some of the topics in this article, these organisations have a great range of evidence-based information and practical resources:
- ADHD UK – Information about ADHD, diagnosis, medication and support.
- National Autistic Society – Resources on autism, sensory differences, masking and daily life.
- Mind – Information on mental health, loneliness and wellbeing.
About Sarah
I’m Sarah Lucas, an integrative counsellor and NCPS Accredited Registrant based in Exeter. I offer counselling in person and online across the UK, working with adults experiencing anxiety, relationship difficulties, eating disorders and neurodivergence. You can read more about me and how I work on my About page.